This is SO true.
It has taken me YEARS to stop caring what others think of me and I am still working on it.
I was constantly tiptoeing around others, always apologizing (for what?!), always stressed, distraught, worried. Sometimes, I even cried.
I’ll never forget the day it all changed.
A former colleague said something so snide and back-handed to me that I literally turned around and gave her the bitch, are you serious? look. An out pour of questions began to fill my head: Why does she think she can say this to me? What is it about me that makes people act this way in my presence? And then it dawned on me – I allowed people to treat me that way because they knew I was too nice to say anything. I cared too much what people might think of me if I stood up to them.
This was not who I wanted to be. I want to be the girl standing tall and proud.
**This is a super good movie, by the way. It’s called The Holiday. Go watch it.**
So, there I was with this new-found knowledge. It only took a thousand years of close family and friends telling me that was my problem all along, but hey, I like to learn things the hard way.
I began taking baby steps to becoming the leading lady I have always wanted to be (yup, still workin’ on her).
I implemented the word NO into my vocabulary. I know, I know – so easy for some of you, but for those who are sewn from the same cloth, you get what I’m saying.
Every once in a while when someone would ask me to do something I didn’t really want to do OR I just thought it was stupid, I would tell them no (all within reason, of course). Like, if your boss tells you to do something, you should probably do it. As long as it’s not illegal.
If I didn’t like something, I would say I didn’t like it.
You get the picture. Pretty simple stuff, really.
When you tell someone no or politely tell someone off for being a dick, it’s going to be just fine. One of two things will happen:
- They’ll get mad at you and eventually get over it.
- They will respect you even more.
If you don’t personally or professionally know the person, then I have even better news! IT DOESN’T MATTER. You will probably never see that person again. And if you do, who cares?! You will simply be remembered for the girl or boy who stood up for yourself. And if I’m being completely honest here, I would much rather be remembered for that than remembered for the girl who couldn’t.
Just a side note – 10% of people you meet are not going to like you, regardless of what you do or don’t do.
Have fun, be yourself, treat yourself, take care of yourself, and cultivate the relationships that truly matter. Don’t waste time on the 10%.