I Don’t Want to Look Like Her

Anyone else ever feel like deleting their Instagram due to the ridiculous amount of — for lack of a better word — Instagram Hoes?? Do your makeup like me and you can look like a clown, too!

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Call me crazy, but I’m actually happy with how I look. I don’t feel the need to wear a full face of makeup every day. I don’t need to wear cheap, slutty clothes to get attention. I don’t always do my hair – sometimes I let it air dry and I’m out the door. Guess what? I still feel pretty good about myself most days.

There’s nothing wrong with getting all dolled up (I most definitely do quite a bit), but the point I’m trying to make is that it’s important to feel comfortable simply as you are. For Pete’s sake, ladies, makeup is supposed to enhance your features, not mask them!

I don’t have to have super over-drawn eyebrows to be beautiful. I don’t need lip injections because the lips I have now go perfectly with my smile. I have no desire whatsoever to look like a Kardashian. Girls like that are a dime a dozen and I’d rather be unique and original.

So shove it, “beauty standards”! I don’t have, nor do I want room for you in my life.

PEACE.

 

Ashleyxx

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This is What I do

The looks, the 2 cents, the whispers, the presumptions, the gossip, the back-handed comments, the judgements, the pity, the missed opportunities, the “do it my way.”

What you’ve read above is my fuel to run; run faster, longer, stronger, better than ever.

At the end of the day I am a stubborn mule (I bet you didn’t know).

Just a simple, stubborn mule alone with her music.

xx,

Ashley

Dealing with Unsupportive Friends & Family

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I think many of us have been there. We’re excited about something new in our life and  when we tell a close friend or relative, they are surprisingly unenthusiastic.

It sucks. I have been in that place many times. I have learned to reserve my accomplishments and innovative ideas for myself and a very select few.

I’ll never forget when I first began seriously perfecting my craft in photography back in 2009 (although, my interest in it dates back much further).  I have always been a creative person, so for me, I felt natural behind the lens. For a few others, they assumed I was simply jumping on the “everyone’s a photographer now because they have a nice camera” bandwagon. This definitely wasn’t the case for me. I was simply at a point in my life where I could finally afford a professional camera. But alas, I could not control what others thought.

I continued to take photos anyway, regardless of the ill-wishers and the one-uppers. Above all else, I enjoy it! I cannot tell you the amount of times I offered to take photos for someone I knew who was actively searching for a photographer and they opted to go with the more expensive, “professional” photographer, without even looking at my portfolio! It definitely hurt my feelings to say the least. I knew I was good at what I did and all I needed was someone to give me a chance. Naturally, I figured my friends and family would support me the most, but to my surprise, it was mostly complete strangers who would contact me through my website or social media accounts showing interest in my craft. So many friends had expected me to support their endeavors but yet, had no desire in supporting mine.

So you might ask why so many people in my circle were unsupportive of my dream? Unfortunately, I don’t have an answer for that. Sometimes people are just people. They may be envious, not really care, OR think I’m completely talent-less. But none of that really matters. What matters is how I feel. I’ve continued on with my photography and professional writing journey for quite some time now. I learn new things all the time. I know that as long as I continue doing what I love, I will truly have something to show for it one day (hopefully sooner than later!).

 

xx

Ashley

 

Words to Live By

“Re-examine all you have been told in school and church or in any book, and dismiss whatever insults your own soul; and your very flesh shall be a great poem, and have the richest fluency, not only in its words, but in the silent lines of its lips and face, and between the lashes of your eyes, and in every motion and joint of your body.” • Walt Whitman

Why it’s Not Okay to Tell People How to Live

It’s one thing to give someone helpful and wanted advise on life, but totally not cool to tell someone they’re living theirs the wrong way.

I don’t know about you guys, but when someone tells me I shouldn’t be doing something because it’s not how THEY do it, I immediately shut off my ability to listen to them.

Remember, you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

A great example of this is food. Right now the current fad is to tell everyone how they should and shouldn’t eat. Everyone loves to be a food nazi. People who attempt to push their diet on others fail to realize that not everyone has the same metabolic system. What works for Joe may not work for Bob. Joe may have facts and statistics to back his claim, but guess what? So does Bob.

It’s been my observation that most people who go around preaching at others have their own skeletons lurking around in the closet. So unless you want be upfront and transparent from the get-go, you should probably reconsider judging and critiquing someone’s life choices to avoid said person doing the same to you.

You can apply this knowledge to almost anything – politics, religion, etc. Just because someone believes or feels differently from you doesn’t make them a horrible person. If you truly feel that way, then maybe you’re the horrible person. Just a thought.

Bottom line: variety is the spice of life. Not everyone can or should be the same because what a boring world that would be!

Try to be tolerant, and as always, keep being you.

Ashley xx

Protect Your Dreams

There is something about a dream that can bring out the ugly in others.

I made the mistake of giving too many details. I do this a lot. When I have a great idea, I want to announce it to the world.

HEY, LOOK AT THIS GREAT THING I’M DOING.

Please, please take note – keep your greatest ideas and dreams to yourself until they have completely blossomed and become something tangible. Not everyone is your fan. Not everyone wants to see you succeed. In fact, many would like to take that shiny dream and tarnish it. Isn’t that awful?

I sometimes ask myself how people can be so spiteful. But then I remember this is the world I live in. This is the world I am still figuring out. Although I make mistake after mistake, I refuse to become jaded. Mistakes are part of life. Mistakes make us who we are.

I will not let this mistake that I made drown me.

I refuse to let you do that.

My best advise to anyone feeling defeated and trampled on by any bottom-dwellers is to remember that not everyone is out to get you. There are those who love and support you. You may even have fans you’re completely unaware of. When you find those who stand behind you, keep them close and please, return the favor to them.

I will be back soon with a more cheerful post, but until then, keep being you.

 

Yours Truly,

Ashley

 

I Don’t Care What You Think

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This is SO true.

It has taken me YEARS to stop caring what others think of me and I am still working on it.

I was constantly tiptoeing around others, always apologizing (for what?!), always stressed, distraught, worried. Sometimes, I even cried.

I’ll never forget the day it all changed.

A former colleague said something so snide and back-handed to me that I literally turned around and gave her the bitch, are you serious? look. An out pour of questions began to fill my head: Why does she think she can say this to me? What is it about me that makes people act this way in my presence? And then it dawned on me – I allowed people to treat me that way because they knew I was too nice to say anything. I cared too much what people might think of me if I stood up to them.

This was not who I wanted to be. I want to be the girl standing tall and proud.

Image result for you are supposed to be the leading lady of your own life.

**This is a super good movie, by the way. It’s called The Holiday. Go watch it.**

So, there I was with this new-found knowledge. It only took a thousand years of close family and friends telling me that was my problem all along, but hey, I like to learn things the hard way.

I began taking baby steps to becoming the leading lady I have always wanted to be (yup, still workin’ on her).

I implemented the word NO into my vocabulary. I know, I know – so easy for some of you, but for those who are sewn from the same cloth, you get what I’m saying.

Every once in a while when someone would ask me to do something I didn’t really want to do OR I just thought it was stupid, I would tell them no (all within reason, of course). Like, if your boss tells you to do something, you should probably do it. As long as it’s not illegal.

If I didn’t like something, I would say I didn’t like it.

You get the picture. Pretty simple stuff, really.

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When you tell someone no or politely tell someone off for being a dick, it’s going to be just fine. One of two things will happen:

  1. They’ll get mad at you and eventually get over it.
  2. They will respect you even more.

If you don’t personally or professionally know the person, then I have even better news! IT DOESN’T MATTER. You will probably never see that person again. And if you do, who cares?! You will simply be remembered for the girl or boy who stood up for yourself. And if I’m being completely honest here, I would much rather be remembered for that than remembered for the girl who couldn’t.

Just a side note – 10% of people you meet are not going to like you, regardless of what you do or don’t do.

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Have fun, be yourself, treat yourself, take care of yourself, and cultivate the relationships that truly matter. Don’t waste time on the 10%.

 

Much Love,

Ashley